By 5 pm it was complete. On that evening Sanjay’s two storied bungalow indeed lived up to its name “Jeevan” meaning life. The low height wooden chairs with their cushions made for both comfortable and cosy sitting arrangement in the lawn leading to the building. Right from the carpet in the lawn to the lighting in all the rooms in the building, the bed sheets in the bedrooms and even the various artefacts on the walls were all put up in such a way so that everything was in synch with each other and gave the entire bungalow the feel of grandeur that the occasion demanded.

After all it was Haimashree’s first visit to her paternal house post marriage and she would be accompanied by her husband and in laws. It is because of this very reason Sanjay did not take a chance, he commissioned a professional unit to do up his home in a manner befitting the occasion; so much so that he even sought their advise on the latest chartbusters that he should have at his disposal to ensure that Jeevan was on ‘song’ on D day. Even some time back Sanjay would not have taken recourse to a professional set up for a similar occasion, certainly not for the choice of songs.  He firmly believed that when that happens (third party decorating your house) it fails to highlight the uniqueness that lies within a house and makes a particular building or flat your own, your home. It was Uma, Sanjay’s deceased wife who was the propagator of ‘your home your signature’ concept. Like many other things, Sanjay kept her ideas and wishes alive, long after she was gone.

But times have changed and with it circumstances. Over the last month or so Sanjay has realised that there is a fine line between retaining that uniqueness and being perceived as an impostor shoving down his ideas and wishes on the throat of others. Others, in this case may also include your daughter, like Haimashree in this case.

It was 5:45 pm observed Sanjay by the time his own dressing was complete. Clad in a light blue pyjama- punjabi, the six feet tall Sanjay looked at himself in the mirror. His hair remained as thick and black as it was good 25 years ago but his greying side locks served an apt reminder to this highly successful corporate honcho that on this occasion he is the father of a recently married daughter. With a Rolex watch on his left hand and a diamond ring on the middle finger of his right hand Sanjay looked both elegant and vibrant at the same time.

With all the preparations being complete, there was nothing more to be done save for waiting. The ‘guests’ were supposed to troop in around 6:30 pm. A smile positioned itself on his lips as the term guests passed through his mind. Around 6 months back he would have never imagined playing the host to these slum dwellers from Park Circus and barely 2 months ago would the name of Anwar Rahman ignite an irreversible rage in his head. But things change and how. A fortnight ago Sanjay Choudhury, an IIM graduate and a resident of upmarket Ballygunge Circular Road paid a visit to the Rahmans’ in Park Circus, spoke to them warmly and requested their entire family to visit his residence on the 15^th of October, which also happened to be Haimashree’s birthday.

Guests……yes good twenty three years ago a cute little baby with few strands of hair in its head and unusually bright pair of eyes was also a terribly unwanted guest in the life of Sanjay. So much so that he vowed never to see the face of his daughter as her arrival led to a premature termination of a relationship that was supposed to last for a life time; that too with someone whom he actually considered as his ‘better half’. But seldom does our life chart out the path that we want to follow. As much as he despised the little baby he shuddered to think that someone would neglect a creature whom Uma had nurtured for nine months in her womb. No, he never questioned his own parents’ ability in upbringing a child but then age was not on their side either. So reluctantly and sometimes abhorrently the bespectacled Sanjay started keeping an eye on that little thing that was soon named as Haimashree owing to her milk white complexion that she inherited from her mother.

As days went by the object of irritation metamorphosed itself into the subject of affection. Gradually playing with Haimashree became the favourite pastime of this man who had started consuming large bouts of alcohol in the initial periods after his wife’s death. Over the years the father daughter bond only grew stronger as Haimashree’s future became the engine that drove Sanjay to carry on in this ruthless world. Finally a stage arrived when with the passing away of his parents Haimashree became the sole purpose of the now middle aged Sanjay’s life. The cycle was complete as the once merchant of death now seemed like the angel of his life.

The wall clock in the living room that resided immediately above the entrance door from the corridor was disproportionately large in this otherwise well decorated room that boasted of a few sofas, a heart shaped wooden table and a few beautiful show pieces among other things. However Sanjay made it a point not to displace the clock from its position. It was one of the few things that Mr. Ramchandra Choudhury, the zamindar from Khulna was able to bring along with him when the country was partitioned during independence. The fact that Mr. Ramchandra, Sanjay’s grandfather, was able to escape the wrath of his hitherto subjects and come to this side (West) of Bengal was no small feat. Moreover it reminded the clan of what they used to be at one point of time. Indeed this watch stood for defiance and royalty. But today, at this juncture when Sanjay stood in- front of the clock it seemed to convey another message and i.e. nothing is constant in life, with time everything changes. Just like his grandfather’s fortune.

Ten minutes past six is what the clock announced. Sanjay decided to call up Haimashree on her phone to enquire whether they had left their place. No they had not started their voyage yet as their dressing and make up were in its last stage, were what Haimashree informed, the excitement of her voice was palpable over the phone.

Realising that it would take at-least an hour or so for his newlywed daughter and her family to grace his abode his mind took a stroll to a time that would be described as recent past by the calendar but to Sanjay it appeared as a time long gone by. Last October during Durga Puja Sanjay noticed Anwar for the first time. There were plenty of friends of his daughter who had come over to soak in the festive spirits but this dark complexioned and lean framed boy stood out from the crowd, not for being extraordinary but for appearing to be very ordinary. His nervous smile, frequent fidgeting with his spectacles and a periodic visit to the loo suggested that he was clearly out of place in the crowd that had gathered at Jeevan that evening.

After the invitees’ left that evening Sanjay revealed his observations to his daughter. He was not surprised that Anwar was invited, because by then he had got used to his daughter’s eccentricity, what surprised him was her reaction. Somehow it appeared that there was a hint of extra effort that her daughter put in while trying to justify his presence at the party. There was nothing in the content that Haimashree spoke that would have suggested it, but the mix of edginess and defiance in her voice did not go unnoticed by the person who had only her voice to listen to in his personal life for the last eight years.

Anwar, as Sanjay discovered later, was his daughter’s office colleague. While Haimashree led a particular division of product development at NIIT, Anwar happened to be a junior course instructor at its Park Circus branch.  Back in April 2008 Haimashree was entrusted by the Regional Manager (E) to take a session with the instructors across the city to update them on the different courses that the company was planning to launch in the coming academic session. It was only the senior instructors from different branches who were approved to meet the product manager and then they were supposed to pass on the instruction to their junior colleagues in their respective branches. But on 17^th of April that year, the representative from Park Circus branch received an emergency call from his family owing which he was not able to attend the session with Haimashree. As the cancellation happened at the eleventh hour it was difficult to send anybody else as they had their classes pre- scheduled. Circumstances compelled Alok De the branch manager of that branch, to send a junior instructor named Anwar as he could not risk the prospect of a second failure to send any delegation. Yes, so in short, one can safely conclude that fate had a crucial role to play in the first meeting between Haimashree and Anwar…….

On a December evening as Haimashree was fiddling around with her spoon she suddenly looked up to see her father intently gazing at her with a smile on his lips.

‘What’ she said as a smile of nervousness spread across her face as well.

“Well that only you know” Sanjay replied as the smile was replaced by a mischievous grin

‘What do I know?’ Haimashree countered with a slight raise in her pitch to symbolise defiance even as the wide grin suggested that her dad had correctly guessed that there was something that she wanted to talk about.

However she quickly glanced her eye down and the smile faded away as well as she was not able to muster the courage to broach the topic. Infact she did not even know where to start.

Sensing her daughter’s predicament Sanjay tapped her shoulder lightly and said “See no discussion can be worthy enough of robbing our pleasure while savouring the rosomalai, right? So let us relish our desert for the time being and forget about anything else for the time being”

Saying this Sanjay himself began to laugh loudly at his own joke. Haimashree too joined in for at least it gave her the time and space to get her act together before picking up the topic that she feared might rob the smile away from his dad’s face.

Half an hour post dinner as Sanjay was preparing to retire to his bed he noticed Haimashree was still seated in the dinner table, completely lost in her thoughts.

“What happened?” asked the father, whose smile this time failed to mask the worry and concern in his eyes.

‘No….. nothing’ came the reply from the other end.

A sturdy silence followed which was loud enough for Haimashree to comprehend that her dad wanted to know what was troubling his most prized possession, and he wants the answer right now.

‘No…I was thinking of days when I was young….and I was taking a walk down the memory line and revisiting certain incidents that made an impression on my young mind back then…….’

“For instance”….. Sanjay added to help her daughter complete her thought flow in a manner that was reminiscent of the times in which he used to help his young daughter when she used to get stuck while memorising speeches and poems for her literature classes back in school.

‘For instance the Saraswati Puja episode when I was in standard eight. At that time I was not able to fathom as to why you got so upset when you did not see Abdul in Abin’s residence that particular year. Now when I look back I realise that you were upset that by giving the excuse of his grand parent’s presence that year Abin’s parents were creating a wrong impression on the minds of two young boys who were separated by a matter of faith that they did not chose for themselves but were bonded together by the virtue of their friendship’.

‘It is detrimental for our society and our country if we encourage such gestures and attitudes. And I am proud of my dady dearest for having not been party to the same on that day’…. saying which she embraced Sanjay with both her hands.

“So does it have any particular relevance now?” Sanjay asked. After all he knew his daughter too well realise that she has not still come to the main point as yet.

‘No immediate relevance per se… ‘and she hesitated before adding ‘its kind of comforting and even privileged to realise that I am the daughter of a person who is not prejudiced and also who loves his daughter soooooooo muuuucchh’

“Surely my little darling you know very well that I do have a modern approach and outlook and I only want the best for my daughter. But say one fine morning if she decides to marry someone like Anwar than naturally I will object”.

The last line came as a bolt from the blue for Haimashree. She was still cuddling up on her dad’s lap when Sanjay delivered the last line. Pushing herself back she looked up to her father. He was still gazing at her eyes as intently as he was during dinner, only this time the warm smile was replaced by a cold and measured parting of lips (it is hard to call that a smile) that only served to reconfirm the intent with which he had spoken the last sentence.

After some more silence both wished each other good night and retired to their respective rooms.

That night was indeed the night of reflection for the father- daughter duo.

Haimashree ran through a host of emotions that she was not able to identify separately. It was anger, pain and hopelessness that oscillated within her, sometimes separately at other times together. She was angry at her dad for jumping the gun, has he even interacted with Anwar at length before forming an opinion about him? Her father, her own dearest sweetest dady, who loved her so much….. who was so proud of her daughter and her achievements……how can he disapprove her likings with such finality?….that is what hurt the young lady most….and in between all these, between Anwar and her father…she can’t even dream about choosing one over another….there was a sense of hopelessness all around.

Sanjay on his part felt a vacuum within. As he kept changing sides on his bed he was trying hard- to look back at what happened a few hours ago, to rationalise whether his action was appropriate, to think how to reach a solution, to forget it, at least for the time being- but all his efforts failed. The clock kept ticking away and he kept changing sides.

When the night was giving way to dawn a drop of tear rolled down from the corner of his left eye and rested itself upon reaching the left corner of his lips. As the first ray of the sun was making its foray through the window panes and into his room it appeared that Haimashree’s father was getting back his memory, not all in a jiffy- but piece by piece.

For instance he remembered Haimashree’s Mamata Masi. The little girl without someone to call as mother was extremely fond of this lady in the neighbourhood, who on her part showered little Rumpi (as Haimashree was called by her neighbours) with plenty of love and adulation. Her well wishers, and that included her grandparents as well, advised Sanjay to marry Mamata. They reasoned that it would be mutually benefit for both of them as Mamata will get her opportunity of having her own family (her slightly deformed facial features coupled with her dark skin was turning her suitors off) while Sanjay himself will get the company of a wife and a lady who can fill the void of a mother in Rumpi’s life. Sanjay was steadfast that he would not let that happen- for there was no way can anyone fill the vacuum in his life that was created after Uma’s demise- rather he felt it would only get worse. But more importantly he knew that Mamata did not share a good relationship with Uma, so where was the guarantee that she would continue to treat Haimashree well once they got married? Infact after Sanjay made this clear to Mamata’s family that he is not mentally ready to marry her it was evident that her love for Rumpi decreased considerably.

Then there were his professional sacrifices. Back in 1990 when Haimashree was a little kid of six, Sanjay was sent to his company’s headquarters in the US for training. His mentor and his colleagues out there were so impressed with the young Sanjay Choudhury’s ability to grasp the complexity of situation, his confidence and his ability to gel with his team mates that they felt that he was cut out for greater things in life and they offered him a posting in New York. However life was not so simple for this single parent. He knew that his parents will be never willing to leave all their friends, relatives and neighbours behind and settle in an alien land. This invariably meant that either Sanjay had to leave Haimashree in the company of his parents in India or had to take her away from her grandparents and friends. He wasn’t confident as to whether he would be able to devote adequate time to his little angel to ensure that she slowly adjusted herself to the new habitat. As a result he declined the offer.

Similarly in late 2001 he got an offer from a rival firm to be the Managing Director of its Indian operations. While it was true that Sanjay felt that he was stagnating as a country manager in his current capacity but accepting the offer on hand would have meant shifting base to Mumbai. Haimashree was in the middle of her standard eleven and the doting father felt taking her out of her comfort zone might lead to a disruption in her academics, including her preparations for IIT JEE which in itself was very demanding in the first place. So the country manager Sanjay Choudhury had to leave that offer as well.

A firm NO always used to be his reply when people used to ask him whether he ever regrets the missed opportunities in his life. For Sanjay mental satisfaction always scored over his professional ambitions. And in a family of two, Sanjay’s mental satisfaction was synonymous with Haimashree’s happiness.

He never made these explicit but will Haimashree ever be able to appreciate all that he had done, Sanjay asked himself. May be she is still too young to understand and value what true love is, he answered his own query. The question had triggered the tear to roll out from the corner of his left eye; the answer generated a tiny smile.

Silence became the official language of communication at Jeevan. Beauty of this language lies in its ability to give its interpreter a lot of freedom. But this beauty can only be experienced by a set of individuals who are on the same wave length. When things are not quite rosy, as was the case with Sanjay and his daughter choosing silence can set a downward spiral and it can head to a situation when either or both of them would not be in a mindset to listen to the other party. That is exactly what happened to the father daughter duo in this case.

Sanjay looked at the watch. It was 5 minutes past 12. Although it is dark outside but he reminded himself that a new day has begun and instead of being engulfed by the immediate darkness one should start celebrating in anticipation of the forthcoming light.

As he entered his bedroom he was once again reminded of an incident involving Haimashree. They had gone for a summer vacation in Darjeeling where Sanjay happened to meet Joe Madith. He was much influenced by the work that this man had done to make a qualitative difference to the life of people in rural Orissa. Sanjay found his calling in a work such as these; he felt that his knowledge and experience can be used to uplift the lives of his fellow countrymen who had not been blessed with various amenities like electricity and drinking water that a city dweller almost takes for granted.

He expressed his desire to Joe.

“You can….in fact you should… but not now” Joe replied.

‘But why?’ Sanjay asked with surprise in his voice….

“Well this job is not easy. It is an onerous task to convince the villagers, then get the work started, convince the political parties to cooperate and then urge the villagers themselves to take active part in these development projects. There are several unexpected hurdles at every step……”

‘I thrive under pressure’ Sanjay answered promptly.

“No no you are not getting it…this work calls for a lot of sacrifice and one has to spend days together in the interiors of the country without even facilities that we, city dwellers label as basic amenities ….so it is better that one leaps onto such a project when you are free from all obligations…”

‘But ………..’

Baba!! A loud scream from Haimashree suddenly made both these men look out of the only window that was there in this small cottage room at the hills. Apparently Haimashree was chasing a mountain goat and in hot pursuit she tripped on a stone and fell down and sustained injuries on her elbow, nose and right feet.

Both the men rushed towards the little child who was crying profusely. The last two days of Sanjay’s stay in the lap of hills was devoted to nurturing his injured little angel who might have sustained only minor injuries but that was reason enough for the doting father to be by her side 24 *7. In the process he did not get the opportunity to pursue Joe further.

That was then; Sanjay reflected whose life as a widower entered its 27^th year on this very day. Now Haimashree can take care of herself even if she happens to bleed.

Saying this he took a chair to bring out the old suitcase in which he had kept Joe’s visiting card. For now he was sure that Joe won’t hesitate in inviting him with open arms. It would be the beginning of a new life for this successful CEO who had put down his papers earlier this week, much to the surprise of many. It would be his second life and Sanjay vowed to make it even more productive where success would be defined by the number of faces in which he is able to bring a smile and his compensation would be the gratitude in the eyes of those simple and innocent people.

Diego Maradona - A soccer legend

Maradona in 1986 or Zidane in 1998. In that sense the Soccer Carnival held in South Africa this year was no different, only this time the superstar was not any footballer who captured the imagination of the soccer crazy public but an Octopus (named Paul) that amazed the entire world with its cent percent correct prediction of results in the 2010 edition of FIFA World Cup.

The true extent of Paul’s popularity was perhaps best gauged in the days after the World Cup ended. Sample the three instances listed below as illustrations:

First, in the run up to local elections in Tamil Nadu, Jayalalita the supremo of the opposition party in that state declared that her party would come to power with sweeping majority in the forthcoming elections. The spokesperson of the ruling party dismissed her statement with a one liner: Jayalalita is no Paul, the Octopus, how can she predict the election results in advance?

Second, the Dean of a Business School, a football enthusiast, cited Paul’s predictions as he took a dig at a rival Business School that is notorious for its high handed claims. In the wake of Paul’s success the Dean stated in a popular social networking site that from now on some B schools will come up with a new course in forecasting using offbeat methods and they might ask Paul to give a guest lecture on the same.

Third, a top ranking executive, who is an M.Stat by qualification, working in a MNC bank rued that his career might be at stake if creatures of different size and shape can come up with predictions as accurate as Paul the Octopus. Now what’s interesting here is that this executive has not watched a single match of this World Cup as he believes watching television is waste of his intellectual faculties. Yet, the heroic of Paul was not lost out on him either.

Please bear in mind that all these comments were made by Indians, a country that does not even come close to World Cup qualification. So there you go, even after the World Cup ended people were so engrossed in this Octopus that they were quoting him, irrespective of the context, their professional background or even their interest level in the game of football. Such was the appeal of Paul the octopus, a true global superstar.

Paul’s exploits first received world attention when it correctly predicted Germany’s triumph over England in the pre- quarter final stage of the World Cup. From then onwards the world watched in disbelieve how this Octopus went on to choose the winner of every single game involving Germany. And it capped off its golden run by accurately predicting the winners of the final as well, played between Spain and Holland.

In all it correctly predicted the fate of a match on eight occasions (out of eight attempts), which statisticians will tell us has a measly 0.39% probability of coming true. Quite a feat one has to admit. Paul’s success led to imitators springing up all over the world, from Mani the Parakeet in Singapore to Lawrence the parrot in Germany to Dirty Harry the crocodile in Australia. But as it happens most of the times, the imitators never captured the fancy of people as much as Paul did.

However there is one breed of human beings who are not prepared to accept anything as extraordinary. Armed with all their rationality they were prepared to explore every possible scientific route to establish that Paul’s predictions were merely a gimmick. So at first they tried to reason that Paul invariably picks the flags (of the country) that has horizontal

Paul was spot on with his predictions

stripes in them. Some tried to preach that he merely chooses the morsel (with the flag) that is kept on its right hand side (from the cameraman’s angle). Thankfully Paul did enough to refute these scientific theories and in the process was able to retain its mystery and enigma.

Talking of scientific methods and tools, a top consulting company in the world used all the latest technology and tool at their disposal to come up with the prediction that England would be crowned as the champions of the world. And what was the eventual outcome? England crashed out at

Germany vs England- Paul predicted the winner correctly

the pre quarter final stage itself, a fact that our beloved octopus got spot on. Now how did that happen? Well someone claimed on Facebook that Paul was more ‘hands on’ with his approach that is why he won ‘hands down’. We can only say amen to that.

Like all superstars Paul’s life was also never short of controversy and some of them bore political ramifications as well. For instance, its prediction that Argentina would lose prompted Argentine chef Nicolas Bedorrou to post an Octopus recipe on Facebook. Similarly when all Germans were outraged at Paul’s successful prediction of a Spanish victory in the semi finals, the Spanish Prime Minister jokingly offered him Official State Protection. However Iranian President Ahmadinejad was in no mood to joke as he criticized Paul and accused the West of using the octopus to spread Western propaganda and superstition.

Thankfully Paul survived all of that and rather it is these speculations, controversy and competition that helped Paul reach a cult status. He passed away on 26^th October 2010. However the controversies surrounding the octopus refuse to die. So now we have a Chinese filmmaker Jiang Xiao who would like us to believe that Paul died on 9^th of July, two days prior to the grand finale of the Soccer Extravaganza. She states that she is 70% sure of this and she is making a film to that effect, titled ‘Who killed Paul the Octopus’.

Now if the Chinese are busy speculating on Paul’s death, can the Indians be far behind? So we came up with a joke connecting Paul with Rajnikant, the

Rajnikant- Indian Chuck Norris

Indian version of Chuck Norris. The joke goes like this:

‘Why did Paul die?Because someone asked him to predict when would  Rajnikant die.’

Well, what would you say to that? On our part we can only say Thank You Paul. Thanks for all the entertainment.

May your soul rest in peace.

Indraneel Mukherjee

Listed below is a compilation of phrases involving the f word that is used in common parlance by us and one hopes that the reader enjoys how the ‘f’ word has gone on to become ‘the word’ in our every day usage.

Fuuc(k): Typically uttered in a low voice with the tail almost dropping off. It is generally used after someone gets surprising news which is mostly bad.

So imagine a scenario when you are hanging out with your friends in a coffee shop and one friend breaks the news that another common friend has broken up with his girl friend. What would be your reaction? Chances are your jaws would drop and you would utter Fuuc(k). Fuck in this scenario conveys disbelieve somewhat akin to ‘What?’

What the Fuck? Alternatively one might have as well have said ‘what the hell?’ But why bother to use another word when the all encompassing fuck comes to one’s rescue, right?

So a situation might arise when on  a Friday evening  one is really happy at the prospect of getting a longer weekend, thanks to the all India strike called by all political parties worth their salt. And suddenly out of nowhere a mail comes from the HR declaring that Saturday would be a working day to compensate for the forthcoming Monday. Now if one is spoil t for choice as to how to react to the situation (what nonsense??/ how disgusting being some of the choices) the ‘F’ can come to one’s rescue and one can groan/shout ‘What the Fuck???’

FUCK OFF: Perhaps the most common phrase involving the F word. Typically used as an abuse to signify something like get out.

One might be at the receiving end of a Fuck Off from his boss when one’s explanation for project delay or failed sales pitch is deemed as a mere excuse by the boss.

Fuck You: Far from its literal meaning this is a phrase that is often used amongst friends to convey something like get lost (as opposed to get out).

So it might well happen that one of your office colleague’s performance has come in for a lot of praise in the recent past and you pass on the secret (to fellow colleagues) of his hard work as his effort to impress the gorgeous project manager who has recently joined the company. The targeted colleague will shoo you away with a ‘Fuck You’.

Fuck Man: This phrase is used to convey disappointment.

The situation can be almost anything. For instance, as I am writing this, I put on the television only to know that Tendulkar fell short of yet another century by 2 runs… and that too getting out to a part time off spinner Marcus North. I looked at the TV screen for a couple of seconds said Fuck Man and switched it off to resume my writing.

Fuckfuckfuck: The f word used twice or thrice at a stretch signifies despair.

Typically uttered to oneself, a likely instance when one would use it is when just one hour before handing over a crucial presentation to your boss your hard drive crashes and to your utter dismay you realize you haven’t kept a back-up of the presentation either. It is very likely that in that frenzy when you contemplate your next course of action you would mutter the F word quite a few times to yourself.

Fucked Up:  These are the two words that effectively sums up your condition when you are going through a particularly bad day or difficult phase of your life.

So at the end of a long tiring and unrewarding day when you are drained of all energy. a colleague gives a pat on your back and says ‘Hey man how was your day?’ the phrase Fucked Up comes to your aid in delivering a crisp yet accurate answer.

These are the most oft used phrases that people use with the F word but the list is by no means exhaustive. I will finish this write up with two more Fuck phrases that I came across recently.

The first incident happened on a social networking site where a friend’s friend put up an intrinsically complicated status update that was almost impossible to be deciphered by any lesser mortal. A friend of the status bearer pointed out the same to her and to spice things up said that he disliked the status.

Now this enraged the status bearer and she promptly used the f word as she suggested her friend to ‘go and fuck himself’. So there you go, yet another instance of the F word being used to say something like ‘mind your own business’ or ‘get a life’.

The final instance involved yours truly. In the course of a casual conversation with a colleague (arguably the most beautiful looking lady in our office) I was sharing my concerns as to how a project that I was working on could be scrapped because of expectation mismatch between ourselves and the concerned client.

On hearing that she gasped for a moment, her eyes widened and she asked ‘Are you fuckkkingly serious?’ For a moment I was taken aback but I quickly realized that all she meant was whether I was damn serious. I smiled and replied in the affirmative.

Indraneel Mukherjee

Ab hoga asli muqabla- Amitabh did well to spread this theme

study in contradictions. On one hand it has come under severe criticism for the poor quality of cricket on display on the other it still continues to garner very high TRP year on year. Perhaps that explains why broadcasters are tempted to refer to IPL in their attempt to sell any cricket event.

The T20 Champion league which features the top T20 teams from across the world happens to be one such event that roped in Amitabh Bachchan as their brand ambassador and promised all its viewers the privilege of witnessing ‘Asli Muqabla’ or real contest. However the tournament was robbed of some of its Asliyat as top teams from England and Pakistan failed to adjust their international schedule to participate in this global domestic tournament.

There is a new found belief in the England International Squad these days. The other day their T20 skipper Paul Collingwood revealed how they

Presence of an English Team could have given this tournament an extra edge

encourage their openers to hit over the top to take advantage of the initial power-play.  People who have been following English cricket for decades will testify that this indicates a marked shift in their approach that traditionally advocated safety first policy. In the Champions trophy a cricket lover would have loved to see how far this new mindset has permeated to the domestic level of English Cricket; but sadly that was not to be in this edition of T20 League.

On the other hand Pakistan has been the most consistent side in the shortest format of the game. So the champion side from their domestic circuit is bound to generate interest across the world. Moreover if discovering a hitherto unheralded talent is the prime attraction of this league, then Pakistan is the best bet to come up with one. Unfortunately that was not to happen in this edition as either.

Having said that, the second edition of the Champions Trophy did have its moments as well. Given below are some of the moments/ themes that captured my imagination this time around:

First the match between Chennai Super Kings and Victoria Bushrangers- There were quite a few games during the league stage that had a photo finish but this one takes the cake as it ended in a tie that took the game in a Super Over and in the end it was the Victorian side that prevailed. Now there are two aspects of this concept of Super Over that intrigued me:

First and foremost the necessity of having a super over in the first place during the league stage. I can understand its need in the knock out stages but why do we need it during the league games? A tie is perhaps the best result that any cricket lover would dream of heading into a match. Typically in a tied game there are several twists and turns that keeps the spectators on the edge of their seats and in the end of it all it is not one of the two contesting teams but the game of cricket that emerges as a winner. Under these circumstances isn’t it but fair that both the teams get equal credit in the form of shared points? Now if this was a game of football perhaps one would have understood the logic behind having a clear winner in every game in a bid to discourage teams from playing defensive football that might have had a negative impact on the spectator’s interest in the game. So I would like the authorities that be to have a rethink on this concept in the years to come.

The second thing that I would like to mention about Super Over is its format. It is far better than the Bowl Out that the ICC experimented with a couple of seasons back. And it is certainly better than penalty shoot out that we witness in soccer as Super Over packs in a new game altogether of say five minutes to decide the winner and in the process tests all the aspects of cricket all over again- batting, bowling, fielding and even captaincy (if that can be categorized as a skill as well). There would be one little change that I would like to see though in a Super Over. And that is, instead of one bowler bowling that entire over if three bowlers can be made to bowl two balls each. In that way the bowling responsibility of such an important over is shared, just like there are three batters who get to bat in that over. Most importantly it would even out the contest even further and add just that little bit of extra spice in an already mouth watering clash.

Moving on from Super Over the second thing that struck me is the aspect of Wicketkeeper. Recently I read an article of Harsha Bhogle where he  stressed upon the growing importance of fielding as the format of the

IPL teams could have given a better thought about Wicket Keeper's Slot

game continues to get shorter. Under these circumstances it was a little baffling to see two IPL franchisees compromise with the most important fielder in the side- that of wicket keeper. Mumbai Indians and Royal Challengers Bangalore opted for a specialist batsman who was given the onus of keeping the wickets as well. What that implied was that these two teams continued to leak at least 10-15 runs every match in the form of byes and leg byes. If we go on to add those missed chances in the form of edges flying past the keeper and the tight stumping chances that went a begging we will realize that these two teams were perhaps giving away almost 25 to 30 runs in their allocated 20 overs. Assuming that these makeshift wicket keepers are better batsmen than what their specialist wicket keeper would have been the question that still remained was where these batsmen good enough to make up for those 25 runs conceded? I am not so sure and that is why I believe promising wicket keeper batsmen would be considered as prime property when the next IPL auction takes place.

The third interesting thing that excited me in this year’s Champions league was the way in which teams went on to use their strike bowler.

Steyn was used by his team to target the most destructive opposition batsman

Traditionally the captain would be giving the new ball to his best fast bowler but here we saw how teams hold back their key strike force to ensure that they can have a go at the rival team’s most devastating, not necessarily the best batsmen. A classic example of this was demonstrated in the match between Mumbai Indians and Bangalore Royal Challengers where Dayle Steyn was introduced into the attack the moment Keiron Pollard (Sachin Tendulkar is easily the best batsman in the MI squad) arrived at the crease. Similarly the captains did not hesitate in giving the new ball to a spinner if they believed that the rival openers were not as comfortable against the tweakers as they are against the fast men. With each bowler having a maximum quota of only four overs I suppose that innovations such as these would only continue to grow in the coming days.

Finally the performance of the IPL teams in this edition of the Champions League should put to rest a lot of negativity that was associated with IPL. First of all there was a wide spread belief that IPL is not about serious cricket and consequently the best teams in the IPL were no match for their counterparts from other countries. People also speculated that the stars in these IPL squads play only for money and subsequently they do not display any real sense of commitment on the field. Finally the skeptics were also sure that the Indian players in these IPL teams are worthless.

I guess as the tournament progressed all these bad vibes were systematically put to rest. Right from the performance of the stars like Kallis, Morkel and Pollard to the serious risk free batting display by Michael Hussey (that prompted Sanjay Manjerekar to comment that Hussey is preparing for the forthcoming test series) and finally the wonderful individual displays by Vijay, Raina and Ashwin that culminated in an IPL team emerging triumphant in this edition of the T20 trophy.

The performance of the Indian contingent was critical in the triumph of Chennai Super Kings

And that I believe has been the greatest irony of this edition of Champions League as it ended up giving cricketing credibility to a domestic league that it had hoped to outperform before the tournament started.

Indraneel Mukherjee

Now for the uninitiated, Spot fixing is about getting players/officials to act in a specified predefined manner at a particular time or during a particular session of a match, with or without adversely affecting the overall outcome of the game. (Source: Cricinfo.com) To understand it better we would take recourse to the latest scam to have rocked the cricketing world. Here Md Amir and Md Asif, the two leading bowlers from Pakistan were paid hundreds of thousands of pounds to bowl no balls at predetermined stages in the England innings.

Amir- would this emerging star fizzle out like a meteorite?

Now what makes it different from match fixing is the fact that these individual incidents may or may not have a significant bearing on the eventual outcome of the match, as the players in question have not agreed to underperform in the entire game. So we have instances where Md Amir, an alleged fixer actually performed incredibly well to rock the host nation and in the process went on to become the youngest cricketer to take 5 wickets in an innings at Lords.

It is precisely because of this reason spot fixing can be more dangerous than even match fixing as it is easy to lure someone to underperform at some fixed junctures of the game and not necessarily for the entire length of the match. A young and immature mind may rationalize that they are still going to give their cent percent in the remaining course of the game and therefore they can convince their conscience that they are not cheating.

What they may fail to realize is that they are walking into a trap. Initially someone can approach them to bowl only 2 no balls in a test match but very soon the betting racket will tighten their vice like grip on your performance and they would look to dictate your game upto the micro details. So in a way the player would be reduced to that of a stage performer who has already being given a predetermined script and he is expected to enact his role as per the demands of the script. The saddest part of this whole episode may be the fact that by the time a player fathoms the gravity of the situation it may be too late and he may not be able to come out of the nexus even if he so desires.

However one believes that the biggest casualty when incidents like these surfaces is the average cricket enthusiast. Before dwelling into how exactly this affects a cricket watcher and what is the depth of this impact, let us try to understand as to why does people like to watch a game of cricket or better still why are people keen on following any live game-be it on television or in the stadium? Apart from a love for that particular sport one of the key ingredients that attract an average viewer to any sports is the element of uncertainty.

And that is precisely the reason why a neutral sports enthusiast was so excited when Senegal stunned defending champions France in the inaugural

SENEGAL'S DIOP CELEBRATES AFTER GOAL AGAINST FRANCE AT WORLD CUP- It is the Glorious Uncertainty that makes Sports so Appealing to its viewers

match of 2002 World Cup Soccer or when Rafael Nadal defeated Roger ‘the invincible’ Federer in the finals of the Wimbledon in 2008 the entire tennis fraternity lapped up the spectacle. It is because sports has room for glorious uncertainties- on a given day a more spirited and determined team/individual can put it across a more talented and fancied opponent.

Sports give its fans an opportunity to peep deep into the minds and hearts of their favorite sportsperson and understand what (mettle) they are made of. So in the round robin league match against Pakistan in the WC of 1999 when Sachin chased a wide delivery of Wasim Akram in the very first ball of the match (and nearly got an edge) it made the cricket fan realize that although Sachin may be their God but at the end of the day he is also a mortal. The fact that some of them like Sachin are able to control their nerves and not betray any emotion is a testament to their extremely strong will power. That is what makes them special and it is those rare moments of indiscretion (like the wild chase of the first ball) that helps us to put things in perspective and love our heroes even more.

Sadly, from now on, a cricket enthusiast may have his joy tempered every time he feels something ‘unusual’ happening on the cricket field. It can be something as trivial as missing a direct hit to run out the opposition batsman or bowling a wide down the leg side that goes for four byes as well or chasing a wide ball and getting out. One of the most lasting memories as a sports enthusiast was in the World Cup of 1999 when Hershel Gibbs dropped a sitter of a catch of Steve Waugh. That was the turning point of the match as Steve Waugh went on to score an unbeaten century to take Australia to the semi finals. I remember talking about the incident with my friends for days together marveling at the stupendous display of batsmanship by Steve Waugh. I shudder to think should a similar incident takes place in the WC next year would the school going children still marvel at the batsman’s feat or would they raise suspicion at a deliberate act of catch dropping.

Catch dropped or World Cup dropped- A similar incident next year would raise suspicion of fixing

And compared to other team games it is easiest to indulge in spot fixing in cricket as the dependency of one player is lesser on his teammates than let’s say football. For instance if a bookie can come into some sort of understanding with the captain and a bowler of a cricket team he can easily fix that a wide would be bowled in over number 36.4 and in the penultimate delivery of the final over a no ball would be delivered which would result in a free hit. In contrast even if you take a defender and the team captain (of a soccer team) into confidence it is very difficult to fix that in the 37^th minute of the game the concerned defender would miss pass the ball to an opposition striker as the ball may not be in their half of play at that particular moment at all.

That makes cricket the most vulnerable to spot fixing and from now on every time something unusual (not necessarily extraordinary) happens on the cricket field we would raise our eyebrows in suspicion and we would not be in a position to enjoy the uncertainty that makes cricket such an interesting spectacle to enthusiasts all over the world. And that is why one believes that this spot fixing allegation, if proved to be true would have a serious impact on the world of cricket at large. Sadly the days of innocence are over.

Indraneel Mukherjee

Can he repeat the feat in 50 over WC as well?

For starters four key members who would be an integral part of the starting XI during the World Cup next year were either rested or were injured during this tournament. Consequently India’s performance in this tournament can hardly be an indicator of the team’s capability for the World Cup next year. Moreover the conditions at Dambulla (where both this tri nation series and Asia Cup were held) were as different from that of traditional subcontinent pitches as penguin is from polar bear. So neither the team composition nor the conditions were ideal to pass any reliable indication on how India or for that matter of fact any of the three teams(New Zealand and Sri Lanka) that participated in the recently concluded tri series will fare in the cricket carnival next year.

What this tournament did point out though, is the fact that India’s cricket future is not looking bright at the moment. While it is still a possibility that with the return of stalwarts like Sachin, Zaheer, Gambhir and Harbhajan India might put up a commendable performance in the World Cup next year but what happens when some of these cricketers bid adieu to international cricket? And from what we have seen in the recent past-well we have a lot of soul searching to do.

So while India as a team takes a hiatus for about three weeks from international cricket (mind you some of the players would still be playing in the Champions League to be held in South Africa) let us take a look at how events unfolded in the final of the MicroMax Cup yesterday and in the process let us try to take some clue as to what is plaguing Indian cricket the most in recent times.

First and foremost the team selection for the finals. Now in the matches leading up to the finale, as indeed in almost all competitions in the recent past, India was playing with 5 specialist batsmen, one wicketkeeper batsmen and four specialist bowlers. For the final slot they were ‘pretending’ of playing an all-rounder. And that is where team India’s problems begun. For too long they were adamant in believing that Ravindra Jadeja is an all rounder who can bowl a tidy spell in the middle of the innings and score some meaty runs in the final stages of India’s batting. Sadly despite being played consistently for around 20 matches since October last year, Jadeja’s batting did not inspire any confidence.  The fact that MS Dhoni’s patience with his protégé was running out was clear when in the last match leading upto the final, Dhoni labeled Jadeja as a specialist spinner. Now the likes of Pragyan Ojha and even Ashwin for that matter of fact, had a more legitimate claim of being included in the team as a specialist bowler ahead of Jadeja. So once Jadeja failed to make some sort of a score in the final league game against New Zealand his fate was pretty much sealed.

So who took Jadeja’s place in the finals? A specialist batsman who responded to the name Rohit Sharma. At one instance it gives a clue as to why were we persisting with Jadeja for so long- and the answer is because we do not have a single bowling all rounder across the length and breadth of the country. Now batting at number seven can be particularly tricky- for either you get a chance to bat at the fag end of the innings where you have to hit right from the first ball or when your team has faced a batting collapse and they are looking at you as the last beacon of hope for rebuilding the innings. In either case you have a difficult task at hand as the likes of Md Kaif and Robin Uthapa would testify.  Now to put somebody like Rohit Sharma who was woefully out of form in that position was equivalent to surrendering to the fact that we would be putting up a X man handicapped team against the Lankan lions in their own turf.

Irfan Pathan Still India's best bet for the no VII slot

So what could have been the alternative?  We could have been honest enough to admit that we did not have a good enough replacement for that slot (batsman/bowling all rounder) and could have gone for five specialist bowlers. Alternatively we could have given Saurabh Tiwari a look in. Tiwari is a specialist batsman who is known for his hard hitting. Since it would have been his debut he would not have been under the pressure that Rohit was subjected to owing to his poor run of form in the recent past. Moreover being a newcomer he would have been an unknown entity and could have taken the Lankan outfit by surprise. Yet they chose to go with Rohit Sharma. So neither the batting reserves elicit enough confidence with the team management nor did the remaining bowlers present a strong case for themselves-in either case it is a reason to worry.

Even the composition of the team was wrong. We went in with four seamers and no spinners. By the end of the match we realized that our part time spinners like Yuvraj and Sehwag fared better than their seam counterparts and Suraj Randiv from Sri Lanka played a decisive role in the eventual triumph of the team from Emerald Island. Granted the tournament has been such that it has been pretty tough to predict how the pitch will behave but given the similar style of bowling of at least two (Munaf and Ishant) of the four seamers one feels that it is always safer to play a specialist spinner unless they are absolutely sure that the 22 yards would be a fast bowler/medium pacers’ paradise.

Next came the toss. Now ideally in a limited overs match the toss is not expected to play a crucial factor in the eventual outcome of the match but in Dambula things were a little different as the evening wind assists seamers in getting some swing while the low altitude in which the floodlights are positioned makes it difficult for batsmen to spot the ball. Ergo a decisive advantage to the team that wins the toss and bats first. Unfortunately Dhoni came second best in that department as well. The final was billed as SriLanka’s good form versus Dhoni’s good fortune. Well Dhoni’s luck ran out in this event.

The bowling was lacklustre all the way. In the fortnight leading to the finals the bowlers savoured the helpful conditions but once they were exposed to a good batting strip in the finals their limitations were badly exposed. The top three Lankan batsmen made significant contributions and for all practical purposes batted India out of the game.

In reply the only man who could have turned the tables on its head was Virender Sehwag. In the recent past he had shown considerable restraint in the initial few overs that propelled him to play some match winning knocks in the limited overs game. But sadly Saturday was not his day. In the 22 balls he lasted he played and missed a few times, was caught of a no ball and was eventually run out while moving uncomfortably out of his crease after being stuck plumb in front of his stumps. That he still made 28 runs was a testament as to why many cricket experts like Ian Chappell hails him as the best batsmen after Sir Don Bradman.

If there was anybody in the middle order who could have rekindled some sort of hope it had to be Yuvraj. A proven match winner in the limited overs cricket he had the mettle to orchestrate a successful chase post the dismissal of Sehwag. However Yuvraj was battling a host of demons at one go. Initially he was dropped from the squad owing to his indifferent form, made a comeback in the test series only to be down with dengue and seeing young Suresh Raina capitalising on the opportunity. So he still needs some time in the middle before returning to his devastating best.

Young Kohli did all the hard work in getting set and scoring 30 odd runs before throwing his wicket away. This could have been an ideal opportunity for him to move two notches ahead of others who are competing with him for a spot in the middle order. But the way he threw his wicket away raised serious question about the temperament of this young breed of Indian batsmen.

Virat Kohli - the youngsters are yet to prove that they 'belong' to the international arena

Raina’s dismissal was similar to that of Kohli although the circumstances were quite different. Consider this piece of stats. Dhoni and Raina shared a 56 balls 49 runs stand. Raina scored 29 runs of the 28 balls that he faced in this period. There were a couple of extras as well. This meant that Dhoni, who was the senior batsman in that partnership, barely managed to scored 18 runs in the 28 balls he faced in that period. This at a time when the asking rate was hovering around 7 runs per over. So it is a little difficult to admonish Raina under the circumstances when he tried to clear the ropes for the third time although one was tempted to feel that if only Raina could have mastered the art of hitting sixes straight over the bowler’s head (ala Saurav Ganguly) his chances of perishing in the attempt (to hit sixes) would significantly come down.

His dismissal brought Rohit out to the middle. Sunil Gavaskar had once famously described the phenomenon of being out of form. He stated that there would be two innings in which he would get out to rash shots, in a couple of them he will fall prey to bad decision in a few others he would perish to a gem of a delivery/brilliant catching and finally he would have his share of unlucky dismissals like run out et al and all of a sudden you will realise that a batsmen has not scored any run in almost 10 to 12 matches and hence he is out of form. Well Rohit’s dismissal in the last match can be attributed to the unlucky category where he was stumped after the ball deflected of Sangakara’s pads and disturbed the bails. I guess one has to acknowledge that to be a part of the package of being out of form and move on.

Even after running out of all set batsmen Dhoni’s approach to the chase was baffling. With Pravin Kumar for company he called for the batting powerplay which prompted Sangakara to unleash Malinga for another spell. Now we know that Kumar can use the long handle to good effect but to expect him to come out triumphs against ‘slinger’ Malinga was mere wishful thinking. So to see him running away (from striker’s end) like a rabbit on the very first or second ball of Malinga’s over was disgusting. So it was no surprise when a swinging yorker from Malinga disturbed Kumar’s stumps and with it the last beacon of light was also shut out. During the powerplay India managed to hit one boundary and one over boundary and the fact that both were hit by Pravin Kumar aptly summarised Dhoni’s struggle with the bat although the scoreboard might suggest that he was the top run scorer for India.

Not as destructive as he used to be

In the end it was a comprehensive defeat for India and while on one hand we are still struggling to unearth quality talent in the bowling department our next generation of batsmen are yet to give the confidence to the team management that they are ready to step in should the big guns get injured in the mega event next year. As far as that number 7 slot is concerned, after having tested quite a few guys, I guess we should go back to Irfan Pathan as he is still light years ahead of the others that were tried for that slot.

So ultimately we are still at the same point where we were a few months back and clearly all the questions that were raised (with regards to the squad for World Cup next year) still remain unanswered. Dhoni in the post match presentation ceremony said that our young buys have gained valuable experience in playing under ‘different’ conditions at Dambula and that would stand them in good stead going ahead. We can only say amen to that.

Indraneel Mukherjee

So keeping that in mind, from the target audience that the corporates c

hose for a paroduct to the message that they select to effectively drive home their USP reveals a lot about our society and our mindset. In this article we will see whether all the talks of women liberalization and empowerment is getting reflected through this ads as well or not.

Soccer World Cup is on in full swing and that gives a couch potato like me another reason to remain glued to the teleSoccer World Cup is on in full swing and that gives a couch potato like me another reason to remain glued to the television set whenever I am at home.

However, like all things in life, even catching your favorite program in that idiot box comes with a catch and i.e. you got to watch those ads that gets beamed countless number of times during the break. Flipping channel may not serve the purpose either; for all you know they might be going through their routine of commercial breaks as well!!

And that brings us to this article about ads and the portrayal of women in the same. Before getting into any sort of discussion let us discuss in brief, some of the advertisements that are grabbing most of the commercial space in different television channels these days.

First, an ad of Vodafone that communicates to its viewer that all football related updates and information can be sought from this mobile service provider. The ad shows a couple sitting in a bench talking to one another. As the girl continues to talk the boy starts getting impatient as he keeps a tab on his watch. Then the boy distracts the girl by pointing towards something at the other end. As the girl looks in the opposite direction, the boy brings a life size toy and puts it beside the girl. The girl happily leans on the shoulder of this toy (presuming it to be the guy himself) while the boy catches up with his friends to catch football action on TV. The ad ends with the message from Vodafone that what a Vodafone customer needs to do to get latest soccer updates on his mobile.

The second ad is on the lines of the first one and this involved another telecom giant BSNL. Through this ad BSNL was promoting its facility of video – telephony at a very affordable price. The ad shows a girl who is extremely fussy (read silly) about the dress she should wear while going out with her boy friend. As the girl continues to change her dress for some reason or the other (either because she feels the dress would make her look fat or because someone else would also be wearing a dress of that same color that evening). All this while the boyfriend stays in touch with his girl over video telephony constantly supporting and convincing her that she looks fabulous in whatever she wears till the time she is herself convinced that one particular dress was suitable enough for her to wear that particular evening.

When we have mentioned Vodafone and BSNL, can Airtel be far behind? In their ad that showcased TV program recording facility from mobile, Airtel

roped in superstars and real life couple Saif Ali Khan and Kareena Kapoor to do the commercial. In this case too Kareena was portrayed as the nagging wife who got very upset when she realized that Saif has forgot to record her favorite Saas Bahu serial that she would fail to watch at the scheduled time (of the serial) as she has a marriage ceremony to attend. Saif gives her a reason to smile by showing her how easy it is to record TV programs form the mobile itself even when you are on the move.

Moving on to a very different industry the ad that we are focusing upon comes from the Insurance industry. It features a couple, who would become parents in the months to come. Here the would be father is shown to be keen on procuring some expensive items but is being constantly reprimanded by his wife as she opines that they should save money for their child’s future. When this same behavior gets repeated in a restaurant as well the husband opens his laptop and shows his wife how he has already planned for future expenses through the aid of the insurance company. The wife looks at the insurance portal with amazement as her husband explained her how they can estimate how much money they should save from now to meet the expenses that they foresee in the future.

Now irrespective of what the ad might want to convey, it invariably portrayed the woman as a very simple person (you can replace the word simple with ignorant if you like) and the man as the enlightened one who is aware of the things going around him. It is pertinent to note at this juncture that we have selected some of the prominent ads of recent times and by no means is this list (of men being portrayed as being decisively smarter than women) exhaustive.

So what explains this trend; is it merely the product characteristic that is driving this trend or is there something more to it than just that.

The first ad that we described here (Vodafone-> live soccer updates) is an event specific one. And if I go by the numerous interactions/discussions and debate that are conducted through various social networking sites like Facebook and Orkut I guess Vodafone is justified to a certain extent in designing their message in a manner that would appeal to men more than it does to women.

The second ad on video telephony has been set in a very cliché background that stereotypes women as being overly conscious about their looks and dress up. Now we know that the younger generation is more likely to experiment with a new gadget or new feature in an existing gadget so the choice of a young couple made sense. Similarly we all acknowledge the importance of looking smart and being properly dressed but this ad deliberately portrays the girl to be quite silly in this regard. Why is it so? It is hard to believe that this particular feature (video telephony) would appeal only to people belonging to one particular gender. If anything women are considered more ‘social’ than men and it is likely they would be keener to try out this feature.

If we move on to the next ad featuring Saifeena, we will realize that the product in question would serve the needs of that category of people, who are constantly on the move because of which they fail to catch up with their favorite television programs; thanks to their hectic schedule. Simultaneously this product feature would have an intrinsic appeal to that generation that has grown up on a steady diet of numerous TV programs. In this regard the pairing of Saifeena seems just perfect as they appear to be a young/mid age couple, with good prosperity (from the decors at their home and they own a car) that is perennially short of time. But one question keeps raising its ugly head and i.e. why has Kareena been portrayed as a dumb woman who is disturbed thinking whether someone would be able to recognize the fact that she had worn the same sari in an earlier occasion as well and who is so engrossed in the Saas Bahu serials that she imitates a particular character’s style of communication. Or to put the question in another way, would those women who are constantly battling time and would love to have such a feature in their mobile phone, be interested in procuring the services of Airtel for the same?

Every company that spends crores of rupees in their marketing campaign would spend a considerable amount of time and money before zeroing down on the style/tone of communication that they feel would be able to strike chord with their target audience. So keeping that in mind must we believe that women are not the target audience for the products we discussed in this article or should we conclude that women are not influenced by these ads that are shown on TV. One plausible reason can be that men are generally more interested in technology driven products than their women counterparts. But in today’s era somehow it seems too feeble an excuse to consciously portray women as laggards, be it any walk of life.

If we shift our focus to the last of the ads that has been mentioned in this article we will realize that with the shift in industry there has been a shift in women portrayal as well. In this insurance ad, she is shown as a responsible lady who is ready to sacrifice the little pleasures of her life to ensure that her child gets a bright life. But despite all of that, at the end of the ad it was once again demonstrated that it is the man who has the vision to understand the scientific and more reliable way to save guard the interest of the entire family in the years ahead.

Insurance as a product becomes very difficult to sell as it falls in the ‘High Involvement- Negative Reinforcement’ category. So most of the times the insurance agent tries to convince both husband and wife to drive home the benefits of his product. Moreover it is also believed that generally it is the woman who runs the family (although the other parallel saying that it is the man who brings home the money is fast losing steam as more and more women are entering the work force), so safeguarding the interest of the family is perhaps something that should resonate more with a woman than a man.

So to sum up this article, what should we conclude? Irrespective of economic liberalization that women have enjoyed in the recent past is it still the ‘Man’ who calls the shots when it comes to important family decisions or has any market research study revealed that men are swayed more by television ads and therefore the corporate are trying to woo them through this medium, that some prefer to call as the ‘idiot box’.

Before parting, I would like to draw your attention to one last thing. Have you people followed the ads of fairness creams for men in the recent times? You would notice that different companies rope in different celebrities to convince their target audience as to why their product is better than the other available products in the market. But none of them ever try to draw any relation between a man’s fairness to that of his professional success.

Compare it with all the Fair & Lovely ads that we have watched over the years and one just gets the feeling that women need to cover quite some ground before they can reach parity with men on the socio- psychology front.

Indraneel Mukherjee

The auto rickshaws serve as the perfect vehicle for transport for those who cannot afford a vehicle of their own and yet they longe to avoid the mad

rushes experienced in trains and buses. However not all interactions/experiences with an auto driver goes as per our desire.

Given below is a compilation of five types of auto drivers that you would definitely not want to meet on any given day, especially during the monsoon season. I am sure the readers would be able to relate to these characters.

First, the Interviewer: A typical conversation with him will

go like this:

You: bhaishab Goregaon jaoge?

Driver: East ya West

You: East

Driver: Station ya Gokuldham?

You: Station

Driver:  Kidhar se jaoge, Link Road ya Aarey Colony?

You: Aarey

Driver: Kyun……Aarey ka rasta kharap hai…

A conversation with him continues like this and yet after answering his seemingly endless series of questions he may refuse to ferry you if he is not satisfied with all your answers.

Second the Refuser: Imagine a scenario. At 8:30 am in the morning there are four to five people waiting for an auto, eager to pounce on any empty one that comes their way.

Exactly at that juncture an empty auto emerges, much to the excitement of the passengers.

First Person (with hope and enthusiasm in his voice): Seepz…….

Auto Driver: Flashes a smile and says ‘Nahi, Seepz nahi jayenge’

The second person felt that this was his divine opportunity and screamed with ecstasy: Kanjurmarg!!

But his joy is also short lived as the driver refuses him as well.

In this way the driver refuses everyone, irrespective of the direction and distance of the journey. At the end of it all one is left to wonder whether the

auto driver intended to ferry passengers or was he out on a joy ride all by himself???

Third, the ‘Move On Guy’: He is a refuser with a difference. Typically when he approaches a customer he would slow down his auto and give the impression that he is keen to take you to your destination.

But the moment you spell out your desired location, he simply turns his shoulder, picks up speed and goes away. Just like that, no verbal refusal nothing.

If you are new to the city you may feel that by mistake you have uttered a

word that has very grave consequence in the local language. In-fact the word is so bad that the driver, in all his wisdom, decides that it should be down right ignored in the best interest of mankind. But as you gradually get used to the city you would realize that it is just a special way that the auto driver

uses to refuse the passenger.

Fourth, the Chatter Box: He is the over enthusiastic and over friendly driver you are likely to meet during your way home on a day when you are particularly tired and you intended to take a nap during the ride back home.

The topic can be anything: from Rahul Gandhi’s adventure in Mumbai locals to the driver’s heroics in Aarey Colony (where he must have tamed a few demons at the dead of night) or may be his own son’s stupendous performance in college.

Whatever may be the issue you can be rest assured that you will not have any of your coveted sleep during your way back home.

Fifth the ‘Engaged’: It is not enough to find an empty auto, it is equally important that it happens to be ‘single’ if you harbor any hope of catching that particular auto.

So it may so happen that during a spell of monsoon you might get drenched from top to bottom but an auto that has parked itself right in-front of you refuses to accommodate you. The official reason being that the driver is already ‘engaged’ to a customer who will come any time soon.

You would wait for more than an hour in that rain but this driver will not

bulge an inch as he remains firmly committed to that elusive customer. As you make some alternate arrangement to go back home you would be left to wonder how would the divorce lawyers have felt if the real life couples had

even shown half of commitment that this driver displayed.

Indraneel Mukherjee

We will look at diff ads from time n we will perhaps give our take on how the ad could have been if we worked on the same:

Take 1:  Airtel Ad

Theme: Baat karne sehi baat barte hain

(There are quite a few ads that have been made in this series keeping the above mentioned theme in mind. Here we decide to add one more ad to this series)

In a restaurant the front office guy cum cashier picks up the phone:

Cashier: Hello

Caller: ek order le lijiye

Cashier:  ha boliye

Caller: ek plate paneer kadai bhej dijiye Intracel office pe

(The camera focuses on the menu card that lies in front of the cashier, and it shows that one plate paneer kadai costs Rs 70)

Cashier:  ek plate paneer kadai aur?

Caller: bus wahi bhej do

Cashier: Sab hum log soh (100) rupay se kum wale order pe delivery nahi dete

Caller: kaya, hum log itne khana mangwate hain tumhare restaurant se aur tum bol rahe ho….

Cashier: par Sir……

At this moment the main character (presumably the owner/manager of the restaurant) of the ad takes over.

Manager: Hello

Caller: are apke bande ne kya bol raha hai…

Manager: are nahi nahi, delivery ho jayega aap fikar maat kijiye…par paneer kiske saat khayenge

Caller: are nahi aaj humara team ko higher authority se badhai mila hum log ka performance ke liye to socha to thora acha kuch mangate

Manager: Arey congratulations Sir…toh khusiye ka din pe aap paneer makhanwala try kijiye….yeh aaj ka special hai….

It would go well with the occasion Sir

(The camera focuses on the menu card and it shows paneer makhanwala costs Rs 135)

Thik hai toh wahi bhej do

Aur cold drink bhij du Sir is garmi me….ya malai kulfi…

The signature tune of Airtel starts playing in the background and the message is played in the background

Baat karne se hi baat barta hai…and the signature tune of Airtel starts playing in the background.

This fictional interview has been represented below:

Harsha: Welcome to the show.

Fan: Thanks, it is an honour being here.

Harsha: First of all congratulations for KKR’s victory tonight. Must be a great feeling isn’t it?

Fan: Absolutely. It is a great to see your favourite team start on a winning note and building some momentum straightaway, especially after what happened last season.

Harsha: We will come back to it a little later. Your latest post in Buzz says that “after Big Boss, Roadies, Emotional Atyachar comes the biggest reality show of the season: IPL 3. Game On”. Do you consider IPL as a reality show?

Fan:  Well in a way it is, isn’t it? [laughs out]…..I mean IPL, like any other reality show would be on air for a fixed number of episodes or games whatever you call it. And it is packed with action, tension, drama and glamour. In short it is a great package of entertainment.

Harsha: So you mean to say IPL is anything but cricket? [smiles]

Fan: Not really, I wouldn’t say that. [looks a little perturbed]But yes, from what I understand the core purpose of IPL is to provide entertainment and that entertainment is delivered through cricket.

Harsha: As a cricket enthusiast how do you rate the three versions of the game: Test Cricket, ODI and T20?

Fan: Test cricket is the ultimate version of the game. It truly reveals the quality of a player and that of a playing unit and if someone loves cricket then this is the version that they will enjoy the most. ODI on the other hand tries to strike a balance between the consumer needs and the essence of the game while T20 demonstrates the entertainment value of the game.

Harsha: Wow that is a great answer. [laughs] So you believe that all these three versions can coexist in cricket?

Fan: See the way I see it, T20 is definitely the future of this game. This is the format that is fast, action packed and it is short enough for someone to catch up with after finishing his working hours. So if cricket has to penetrate into new territories then it has to be through T20. In the course of time if someone truly starts loving the game sans the glamour and drama, then they will covet to witness Test cricket. ODI somehow may fail to satisfy the needs of either category and in the long run it may be discontinued.

Harsha: Coming back to IPL season 3 do you believe KKR has a bright chance of winning the show this time, given the roaring start they got off to by defeating the defending champs Deccan Chargers?

Fan: Well even in the first season we got off to a roaring start winning the first two matches but from there on everything went downhill. So we can only hope that we are third time lucky. [both of them laughs]

Harsha: No on a serious note, if you got to predict the performance of KKR this season you must be optimistic after watching the performance tonight especially that of the foreign players. And when you consider the fact that three of your biggest stars like McCullum, Bond and Gayle has not even arrived you got to feel elated.

Fan: Well it is always good to have a problem of plenty but like it has been mentioned even in the previous editions, it will be the Indian contingent in each camp that will decide which teams will make it to the last 4.

Harsha: I totally agree with you on that point. Who would think would be the crucial Indian players that you think can make a difference to KKR this time.

Fan: Well right from the first season itself I felt the depth in batting has been a key problem for KKR apart from their fielding. So keeping that in mind I believe the likes of Pujara (who missed out last season because of injury) and Tiwari (who was with the Delhi contingent in the first two seasons) have crucial roles to play for the Knight Riders.

Harsha: Talking of youngsters and IPL there is a lot of debate going on whether IPL serves as a good platform to the budding talents to prove their worth or whether the lure of fame, glamour and money at a very early stage in their career distract them. I would like to have your opinion on the same.

Fan: See from my perspective it is not fame and money standalone. Along with fame come the expectations from the team members and demands from your fans and supporters. I believe that these are essential ingredients that any modern cricketer, especially from India has to cope with, if he aspires to represent the national team. And domestic tournaments like Ranji trophy and Duleep trophy might test the cricketing skills of a player but it is only an extravaganza like IPL, where these youngsters are pitted against the giants of the game in front of a packed audience that tests whether a player is mentally ready for the big stage.

Harsha: Tell me about some of youngsters from the other teams that you believe would be the ones to watch out for in this season.

Fan: I can’t name too many of them as of now but yes I will definitely look out for some of the very promising players who were playing in the ICL previously like Ambati Raydu (who was once touted as our next Tendulkar), Abhishek Jhunjhunwala (who was once described as the most promising batsman from Bengal after Saurav Ganguly) and Satish. They can significantly bolster the bench strength of Indian T 20 squad and ohh yes!!! I almost forgot…I will definitely look out for Manish Pandey.

Harsha: Moving on from players to teams, which teams looks to be your favourite to win the tournament this time around.

Fan: Personally speaking it is the team with more in form players that will win the tournament………[Harsha interrupts]

Harsha: But that is true in all tournaments isn’t it? [smiles]

Fan: In a way it is but because this tournament is so fast paced with each team playing a host of other teams almost every day. Plus there is a lot of journey involved as well. So it gives very little time for a player and a team to recover; analyze where it went wrong and rectify them. So being in form and having the winning momentum going assumes paramount importance.

Harsha: It definitely helps. But I will not leave you that easily. All said and done there must be some teams that you feel has a better chance of winning this time around, at least on paper. Common go ahead and take a pick. [smiles]

Fan: Delhi appears to be a very good side for me. T20 is primarily a batsman’s game and in Shewag, Gambhir, Dilshan, DeVillers and Kartik they form one of the most devastating batting line up of the tournament. And they have some very fine bowlers in Vettori, Mahroof (both of whom are handy batsman as well), Nannes and Amit Mishra to back up their batsmen. So I feel

Kieron-Pollard: He can make a difference to Mumbai Indian Outfit

they have a very balanced squad. Apart from Delhi I expect Mumbai to do well as well with their skipper being in sublime touch and with Pollard joining their ranks as well.

Harsha: What about KKR?

Fan: I am just keeping my fingers crossed. [both of them laughs]

Harsha: If you were the selector for KKR this season would there be any other player that you would like to have in your side?

Fan: I would like to have Shakib-al Hasan, the Bangladesh skipper in our squad. He has been a terrific player in the last one and a half year and his performances against top nations like India, SriLanka and New-Zealand has been top class. He is an all-rounder so he could have added more balance to the side and being a player from the other side of the border he would have been able to gel with the Indian players quite easily as well. So I believe we missed a trick on that front especially when others had not shown any interest and we could have picked him up at his base price.

Harsha: How big a factor is Shahrukh for KKR fans?

Fan: Well brand Shahrukh must be a big factor in the non Kolkata fans of KKR but let me tell you the fans in Kolkata were mighty disappointed with what happened last year.

Harsha: You are referring to the multiple captaincy theory?

Fan: Precisely. See we got to understand one thing. As we have witnessed

Sourav Ganguly means more to Kolkata than Dravid to Bangalore

time and again Kolkata is very passionate about cricket and the thousands of people who gather at Eden Gardens every time a match is played there (including Tests) bears testimony to the same. But somehow we do not have that many cricketing heroes whom we can claim as the son of our soil. Perhaps that explains why Kolkata is more sensitive (or hyper, if you want to use that term) about Saurav Ganguly than lets’ say Bangalore is about Dravid. So keeping that in mind I must say we were very disappointed when Shahrukh promised that Ganguly will remain the skipper of the team but after reaching South Africa he declared McCullum as the new leader of the Knight Riders. Again he conveniently chose to drop the term Kolkata from his team merchandise. All these incidents disillusioned the people back in Kolkata.

Harsha : I can sense the disappointment coming out of your voice as well. Any ways we can only say that all’s well that ends well. With Dada back at the helm I am sure the Knight Riders would be able to turn the tide in their favour this time around and will put up a stupendous show that will make all its fans chant in unison “Korbo Lorbo Jeetbo Re”.

Fan: Thanks a lot for the wishes.

Harsha: One parting question before we end our show tonight. And I will go back to where we started. How would you sum up IPL as an event?

Fan: It is a great phenomenon that  not only augurs well for Indian cricket but also for India as a nation.

Harsha: India as a nation? [appears amused]

Fan: Even after 63 years of Indian Independence we witness regionalism raising its ugly head from time to time and threatening to destroy the fabric that bonds India together as a nation. In a situation like this imagine a hypothetical situation: In the grand finale of IPL3 (being played between Mumbai Indians and Kolkata Knight Riders) the match has gone down the wire and it would be decided in the last ball. Saurabh Tiwari (from Jharkhand) has to hit a boundary to ensure a Mumbai victory and the bowler he is facing is Ajit Agarkar, a Marathi. Whom would someone like Raj Thackery pray for under these circumstances? Irrespective of whom he supports it would be the triumph of India and its cricket loving citizens.

Harsha: Wow! What an answer. And on that note we would say good bye to all our viewers and once again a round of thanks to this fan of KKR for coming here and sharing his thoughts.

Fan: Thanks a lot.

Indraneel Mukherjee